a tribute to someone who died

For those who don't know, my great Aunt Annie passed away a couple of weeks ago. Her life was such a testament to her faith and her devotion to God. It is a life that I long to emmulate any way that I can. I wanted to share a bit about her life with the rest of you.

My great auntie listened to the call of God in her life when she was only 12 years old. She was baptized at 13, and determined to spend her life serving God overseas. When she graduated high school, there wasn't enough money for her to go to Bible school, so she took up a job as a seamstress and gradually collected the needed funds. She was 26 when she set out for Colombia.

Aunt Annie is a woman that I admire very much and have grown to love and respect throughout my life. She is someone who has really lived her life to the fullest in a way that I only hope I can someday achieve. She spent more than half of her life (age 26 until her early 60s) pioneering the mission field in the jungles of Colombia.
She returned to North America only for short furloughs which she spent teaching and preaching, which in those days, was rare for women. When she finally retired around the age of sixty, she returned home and married Sam, a man with whom she had been corresponding for several months and falling in love with. They had almost twenty years of marriage, behaving like newlyweds until Uncle Sam died when I was about 16. Aunt Annie mourned him, but continued to live her life in ministry. And now her time is drawing to a close, and she is more than ready to go and be with Jesus.
While Aunt Annie lay dying in the palliative care ward, my mom was like her guardian angel, sitting with her, singing, bringing flowers, dealing with nurses and other visitors. My mom was there when the pain was too bad for Aunt Annie to sleep. She was there when Aunt Annie could no longer get out of bed to go to the bathroom. And she was there when Aunt Annie took her very last breath on this earth. All through that time, Aunt Annie showed no fear, only determination to meet with her Savior. In her last hours, when she could barely move, she raised her arms up toward the Heavens, as though reaching for her Jesus, so visible to her already.

I don't know many people of whom I can say this, but my great auntie really lived her life to the fullest in the Godliest way she knew. And now she has reached Heaven, she has received the crown she so deserves, and she is in close- closer than ever!- communion with the Savior she so longed for.

This world is not my home, I'm just a-passin' through...

a few more things that have happened

Some more things have happened in the last few days. Not terribly exciting, but they have happened nonetheless.

#1. I got new sunglasses. The really big ones that kind of look like science goggles. Now I look like all the cool girls.

#2. This city is like one big puddle. Aside from the last few days of frozeness, there has been slush galore. And it is only getting worse. I'm so thankful to no longer be a patron of city transit, which is a dirtier activity than one might guess.

#3. Due to the aforementioned weather conditions, I spent all of last week wearing dirty pants, having had no time to do laundry.

#4. Jonny and Karen are finally engaged!!! Congratulations to you both!!!

#5. Erin and Joel are also engaged!!! Don't forget your toothbrushes!!!

#6. Tyler has moved to live on the next street over, just an alley or two away. Welcome to the hood! You know where to come for that cup o' sugar.

#7. There is a fugue by Bela Bartok that I just can't wait (sarcasm) to analyze. Mmmm, I just love (sarcasm again) analyzing tonal aspects and subject content.

#8. We had a really fun brunch with Kendall and Sabrina on the weekend. We missed you, Bryan and Leanne...hopefully you can make it next time.

#9. Stefan shrunk my two favourite t-shirts. Don't worry honey, I'm not mad at you anymore...really.

So now the oven timer is buzzing that its time to put the sheets and towels into the dryer, and Bartok awaits, and I must fly. Have a jolly day, doing something more exciting than the mundane!

things that have happened

So it has been awhile, hasn't it? Much has come and gone. I'm not going to dwell on busyness or exhaustion becuause I know that most of us out there are in that February slump, are we not? Doesn't really matter. Today has been decent, and all we are doing for now is living one day at a time, despite how fun it is to dream about the future....come to think of it, dreaming about the future is sometimes what gets you through.
Another thing that gets me through is thinking about all the little things that make me laugh or bring me peace. Like today, it snowed. But not just your regular flakes of snow; it was little balls. Not quite hail, but just mini snowballs pelted down on the city. Very peculiar.
And I made cookies. Dozens of them! Just your average chocolate chip cookies, stinking up the apartment so Stefan actually smelled them as soon as he set foot in the building.
So I won't bore you with the non-details of a student's busy life, but I will bring you up to date on some of the funny, happy things you may have missed:

#1. I received a flat iron for my birthday, and I used it on Stefan's famous curls. Then he played volleyball with his flowing mane in a ponytail on top of his head.

#2. Stefan and I went with my grandparents out into the wilderness to cut down our first Christmas tree.

#3. Kume and Dawite put on a show for us one evening, and Dawite wore a little girl's blue figure skating leotard. Enough said.

#4. I sang with my choir in an honest-to-goodness concert hall with a full piece orchestra AND people paid actual money to see it.

#5. Stefan made supper one night and put six times the spice into the curry, and twice the milk into the pudding.

#6. We washed the car on a minus 40 day.

#7. I watched an old home movie of one of Stefan's figure skating carnivals from when he was a kid. They were skating to the "Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" song.

#8. We spent the days between Christmas and New Years' traipsing around with a cut out of Simon's head on a stick so he could be in our family Christmas pictures.

#9. I finally won a game of Settlers.

#10. A bunny lives in our back alley.

So that's ten things that have happened that likely I would have mentioned had we been on the phone or out for coffee. It pretty much sums up life outside of school and work.

So there you have it.

i have not given up on summer, though winnipeg has

Hey, I hope somebody still reads this big bad blog....I admit it; I am a shame to the blogging world. I only hope that someone will stick around to read the juicy married life post (as demanded by Camille) I am about to leave.
Married life has been very sweet over the summer, full of evening strolls, camping trips and enjoying the little things in life, like cooking in my tiny kitchen and slowly spending all those gift cards. Stefan and I are on our way to understanding what it means to be one. There have been bumps- even potholes- but I can say that things are off to a wonderful start. Fighting is somewhat rare (seriously), and I think I can safely say that so far, there is nothing better than being married to someone that you love with all your heart and feeling God's blessing in that. We have spent our summer days working and playing, learning and teaching.
Winnipeg has given up on summer. Leaves and rain are falling, and yes, there has already been a little snow and frost to scrape off the car window as I rush, late again, to jump in the car for my 8:30 class. Its as though the city is entering into its hibernation. Things are slowing down at the coffee shop where I work. The schoolwork pulls me inside to where I toil endlessly over those silly theory assignments that I can't seem to ever do quite perfectly. And outside, the city breathes cold air on the trees. Very strange, this fall has seemed to me.
As you all know, there have been many changes in my life this year. I've gained a husband and a new family, left behind a family in Saskatchewan, started life in a new city and a new home, battled numerous minor sicknesses (including homesickness), learned what it means to work shift work, tasted international travel, and learned what it means to make priorities. Well, I'm still working on that last one. And though the stresses of change (both wonderful and not so easy) have taken their toll on my body, my emotions remain semi-steady and there is no sign of heading back to that little pink pill I so eagerly gave up almost a year ago.
It seems like a million years since that sweet, warm summer weather. The coldness of university and the buzz of busyness can drag us down sometimes...well, a lot of the time. But I haven't given up on summer. This was the sweetest summer I have ever known, I will tresure it in these cold winter months, using it to brighten those days that seem so dreary. I will hold those days close as an inspiration to love the moments I am in as much as those I have loved in the past.
What else is there to say, really? I should probably do some homework. I say that a lot these days.

Love.

home again, home again

So I'm sure that most of you are pretty sick of that stupid "frustrated bride" title. Here is an update: I am home and I am no longer a frustrated bride!

Married life so far has been pretty great. Actually I'm loving it. The wedding day was a blast. For those of you who came, thanks so much for your presence. For those who did not, thank you for your prayers and support. I'll be posting pictures soon.
Our marriage began with a really fun honeymoon in Dominican Republic. We stayed about ten steps from the beach in an all-inclusive resort on the northern coast of the island. The ocean was clear and warm and the sun shone for the whole week. Stefan and I had a lot of fun swimming and snorkeling and sleeping.
We returned home at the end of May and hid out until our phone got hooked up. Then it was back to work: me at Second Cup, and Stefan to his parents' farm. And since then, the summer has been pretty easy going. We've been back to my parents' home for Hailey's grad (you were beautiful, sweetheart), and hurried back through the night for Danae's grad (equally beautiful). We've done some camping and seen some friends and spent many evenings watching Seinfeld in our non-A/C apartment with the windows wide open and the fans blowing. We've had a blast opening all of our gifts over the period of two weeks or so, and also deciding what to spend our gift cards on. I'm loving it.
So yes, I am now back, without a computer, so the posts and emails will be few and possibly far between. Hopefully everyone will be patient. Those of you who live in the area, please feel free to stop by Second Cup and say hello.

the frustrated bride

This was supposed to be a happy post. I haven't posted for more than a month, and I was going to do this cute little light-hearted one, but unfortunatey, it is not to be.
Its not as though good things aren't happening. On the outside life is all peachy and sweet. Stefan and I have found a nest to call our own, and I've found work just four blocks away. Good things, right? I have friends and family around me. Spring is in the air and my wedding is about forty days away. Why shouldn't I be the picture of happiness?
Well, today I am not. There is so much negativity surrounding me. I'm sick of the complaining and agonizing over such very unimportant things. I'm sick of being told what to do by everyone, as though I haven't thought things through for myself already. I am a somewhat grown up person here. And I have common sense...just imagine that. I feel like I can't move without being questioned or instructed on something.
And the shallowness of life! Where has it come from? Where did all the depth go? Why am I suddenly so wrapped up in what I'm going to wear somewhere, or how my hair is, or how hard I have to study, or who I need to impress? I feel like I have no heart anymore.
The frustrated bride; that's what I am. I feel like I don't have a right to be, with all the great things happening in my life. There are upsides...of course there are. I want to sign off this entry angrily and stubbornly and refuse to see hope, but I somehow feel like I would be letting someone down. So I'll throw in a shrug and a wink, and wishing that I was the type of person who drank away her troubles (I don't even like alcohol), I'll jump into a hot shower, and then spend some time at the piano. Maybe I'll feel better after that.

why i am like peter pan

Last night Stefan and I, along with a bunch of Bethany people, went to the kick-off concert for Steve Bell's "My Dinner With Bruce" tour. All I can say is wow, what a night! Its hard to convey exactly how wonderful it was. It was a very relaxing evening. Steve Bell, besides being a superb musician, also has a heart of gold and a stage presence that puts the audience at ease. His insights into the Word, and his stories about his life and his family felt so familiar, like having coffee with someone in a warm place while it rains outside.
He had along with him his stand-up bass player, Gilles Somebody(?), and his piano player, Mike Janzten. A word to Michelle Jeschke, if she's reading this: I understand everything you said about Mike Jantzen that night in the dorm, and if I wasn't engaged, I'd be more than agreeing. This man was fantastic! He plays like no one I've ever heard before. That was quite an experience, hearing him rip up those keys. I kept thinking to myself, "That has to be in me somewhere. Why won't it come out of my fingers?"
Steve Bell was also promoting a younger artist's new album. Her name was Diana Props, and she was great. She is an incredible poet and lyricist, and she had this sweet, smoky voice, and again I found myself thinking, "I know that's in me. Where is my chance to let it out?"
Because you see, my friends, I used to have this dream. I had a dream of singing for people and making them cry or laugh or love or get angry or whatever. I wrote things down; pieces of my soul wrapped in looseleaf and tied with melodies and notes. Very few people ever heard them; only those who asked. I once got up the guts to perform an original at a Bethany talent night. It went well. That is as close as I've gotten.
I'm not a performer...at least, I don't think I am. I have no desire to show off skill, but I do have a desire to lead people into places they don't usually go with my music. I used to dream of doing that from a stage, alone, with a piano and my voice. Now I dream of doing that in hospitals with children or in care homes with seniors, maybe on the odd Sunday from a church piano leading songs. I'm a little misty right now, as I realize that I've grown up and left those more glittery and sparkly dreams behind. The little girl in me, the one who still longs to be noticed and approved of, she wants to clumsily put on her lipstick and enter the spotlight to wow some people. But the more grown up me, the one in university who worries about money, she hasn't even thought of those dreams since...well, I don't exactly remember.
This is all very random; another realization of growing up. Those always hit me at the strangest times. I suddenly realize that I can't stop time. And it hurts.
Do something for me. Dream tonight; something childish, something far away and glittery, and hold it in your heart for as long as you can. And tell me about it, if you're comfortable.